format: LP
year: 1992
country: Czechoslovakia
label: Briami
#: BR 0006-1 311
info: No insert.
style: Heavy Metal
Side A:
Side B:
Here's something for those who love to read about ridiculously rare albums with beautiful cover art, i.e. the majority of Corroseum followers I'm sure:
METANOON was/is a Czech Epic Metal band in the fine tradition of most-epic Virgin Steele and Manowar. Between 1999-2008 they released 5 full-lengths in this style - the 3 first on CDr only, the last 2 on CD. And then there is this debut LP... As obscure as the later albums are, they are no match for this Czech top-rarity as far as fuck-I'll-never-find-a-copy-will-I?-ness (only topped in unattainability by Törr's legendary "Kladivo Na Čarodějnice" LP I'd say). Here's the downside: It's is not quite in the same style as their later, pompous, broadsword-wielding material.
"Tma" starts off with the bleakest, most generic AC/DC-type anti-riff imaginable, pulled even further down into oblivion by digital drums and awful, buzzing lined guitars.
30 seconds later it crawls back up to mere mediocre mid-pace HM stock. There is a passable melodic chorus there, but 'passable' never cuts it as an album-opener, and it doesn't get better with track #2, which is basically the same thing, this time minus a decent chorus. Will track #3 save the day? Nope - ballad. What could possibly 'top' this as track #4 you ask? Well a bloody schmallad of course! With face firmly placed in palm you'd think that by now there's no saving this trainwreck of an album but lo' and behold - the B-side opener "Křižáci" is an absolute Epic Metal masterpiece! Beginning with a hefty Manowar-tribute ("Revelation (Death's Angel" to be precise) and continuing with a chorus worthy of an East-Euro Virgin Steele in peak shape we almost forgive both the lameness of the A-side as well as the wafer-thin production. Then comes "Stará Potvora" with its classic NWOBHM/ancient-Maiden punch and now we've regained hope that maybe, just maybe this is one of those albums with a lame, commercially oriented A-side and a proper Heavy Metal scorcher of a flip :-D !?
"Fuck you" says Metanoon and finishes off with 3 ballads in a row.
Yes, you read that right. Three, Ballads. In - a - row.
When was the last time you heard about such poor album-composition outside of friggin' Malaysia?? Now, before I spew further venom on this album I should probably share some circumstances concerning this album's release that was featured on the band's web page. Apparently the Briami label was a complete rip-off affair and its possible the shape of this album is not entirely
what the band themselves had in mind. In fact they did an semi-official 'reissue' on CDr years later, which included 2 more songs that didn't make it onto the LP: and sixth ballad (face back in palm) but also the great "Tak Jedem Dál", another gallopping nod to Manowar'ian-type steel. With this tune in mind I'd say it would have been possible to at least comprise a really good mini-album. In its current form, the Metanoon LP is mostly for die-hard collectors, Czech completists and lovers of kült kover art
and for once I'm inclined to recommend the band's later, post-millennial material (see link above) rather than the rare & obscure debut.