NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

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Zombie Dance
Posts: 191

NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#1 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:23 am

Let's put on the porn aside and share some terrible stories of damaged packages, broken vinyls, fucked up postman attitude etc...
Pics are of course welcome.

Here's one about my Zombi Danz zine : it was the first wholesale i made with the guy behind Darkness Against LMight zine from Thailand, i sent 12 or 14 zines to Bangkok. First i couldn't send from Belgium because the shipping price for a 2kg parcel to Asian countries was... 80 euros!!! Fortunately i was able to send it from Luxembourg where it was 50 euros cheaper (go fucking figure...).

Of course the parcel took about two months to get there, and one day i receive these two pictures from Daniac :
Image

Image

So apparently Thailand postmen add these yellow stripes to make the parcles easier to handle. It totally fucks up the package and since i sent it while we were in middle of the football world cup i'm 50% sure they used my parcel as a ball^^

Fortunately this story ends nicely since the zine didn't even have a single scratch! I am eternally thankful to my master who taught me all about the art of packaging.

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Priamos
Posts: 522

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#2 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 12:49 pm

Fortunately, from my early underground days I don't have many sad stories concerning bad postal services, to share. However, the worst one that still haunts me, is when I received a parcel from Domine opened, containing everything (lyrics, flyers, Enrico Paoli's letter etc) but the tape itself (Bearer of the sword demo)! :(
We should forgive our enemies, but not before they are hanged...

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Prowler
Posts: 1589

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#3 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 12:50 pm

Yep, imagine there was vinyl inside ...
I once sent a parcel with about 20 records to Colombia, all new/mint. The parcel disappeared, I got 180 E paid by german post service. 3 years later saturday morning the postman did knock at my door. The lost Colombia parcel is back!
I had to pay back the whole 180 E refund. The parcel looked like the one shown above, the once mint looking record's sleeves looked similar to the parcel! I couldn't even re-sell any of them!
It's not easy to be the Antichrist ...

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Noisenik
Posts: 2383

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#4 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 1:03 pm

This thread hurts ... really :(
I am ... the One you warned me of

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Warepire
Posts: 1352
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Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#5 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 1:30 pm

So far I never had any item destroyed by the postal service, though one was close!
I think however that less than 20% of my CD collection have fully intact jewel cases.
We should also have a "Learn to package you dumb-fuck!" thread, because I have more of those than these kinds of stories.

Here are the tip of the iceberg of postal system horrors I have received:

The worst one was when the CD arrived with the case smashed into a thousand pieces, thankfully the CD and covers fully intact. I have no idea what this package was exposed to during it's trip, it sounded like a baby's rattle when I was opening it.

The biggest heart attack was an LP sent from great_knuthulhu, the postman had FOLDED the package so it would fit my mailbox. Thankfully due to the black magic spells great_knuthulhu casts on the package before sending it ensured the LP was unharmed within.

Second biggest heart attack was when I had received an EMS parcel of 12 LPs and the postal worker at the postal center SLAMMED IT into the counter right in-front of me. A shouting match between me and the postal worker followed. Even if a package doesn't say "Fragile" it doesn't mean the contents are indestructible.

This one is dedicated to DHL: When i bought my turntable and had it shipped to me, the package arrived with A HUGE CHUNK of packaging MISSING! It had been torn off at some point, and it did not look like a "I wonder what is in this package" kind of tear-off. Thankfully the seller knew how to package and there was no harm done.

One box of CDs I ordered from Canada right when I started collecting was so beaten up that it was ROUND when I got it. The seller probably anticipated this because of how it was packaged: A box inside a bigger box, 2 inches of "package snow" around the inside box for protection. The CDs inside the smaller box where packaged carefully in there with lots of tightly crumpled up plastic bags as cushions, I think I counted 100 plastic bags. Was it a football or a door stop for a while? I don't know... Ideas what happened here?

A package that was shipped by a Swedish seller about 500 kilometers from where I lived at the time took 3½ months to arrive (normal turn-around time is 1-4 days, with 4 being extreme). I have no idea what kind of adventure that package had, because nothing in the address was misspelled.

A package sent from Mongolia had been opened by the customs. Nothing was thankfully missing.

The post man where I used to live randomly left packages too big for the mailbox around the yard instead of putting a note in my mailbox and taking the package to the postal center for pick-up. Some could sit outside for days before I found them (obvious from the state of the package). Thankfully nothing got moisture damage or destroyed by weather.
What good is a life that leaves nothing behind, not a thought nor a dream to echo in time...
So what have I done in the eyes of the world, what have I done that will remain?

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msp
Posts: 1215

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#6 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 2:01 pm

Worst one I has was when I bought a copy of Pink Floyd 's Saucer full Of Secrets lp. The seller mailed it in a large jiffy bag. The postman decided to fold it in half to get it through the letter box. World's failed me when I saw it
Remember kids, only high priced rarities are true...

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OmenOfSteel
Posts: 564

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#7 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 3:02 pm

Few years ago I bought a record (think it was MORTOX or something like that) on Ebay.de

I couldnt believe my eyes when the postman handed me the record:
There was my address pasted ON THE COVER just as the stamps, opening of the cover was closed with transparent tape so the vinyl dont fall out, and that was it... NO parcel or not even newspaper wrapped around, just the sticker on the Cover...
The seller was totally puzzled when I complained and he said "what do you want, the record cover IS the packaging"
No words...

On a sidenote: the Vinyl itself was not damaged
We praise the blood that metal brings

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Noisenik
Posts: 2383

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#8 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 3:59 pm

msp wrote:Worst one I has was when I bought a copy of Pink Floyd 's Saucer full Of Secrets lp. The seller mailed it in a large jiffy bag. The postman decided to fold it in half to get it through the letter box. World's failed me when I saw it
sth similar happened (reportedly) to my friend. Album starring was Sepultura's Arise. Postman had bent package two times, so he could stuff it in the letter box. My friend was aghast. Such events make one speechless, easily.
I am ... the One you warned me of

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Warepire
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Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#9 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:16 am

OmenOfSteel wrote:Few years ago I bought a record (think it was MORTOX or something like that) on Ebay.de

I couldnt believe my eyes when the postman handed me the record:
There was my address pasted ON THE COVER just as the stamps, opening of the cover was closed with transparent tape so the vinyl dont fall out, and that was it... NO parcel or not even newspaper wrapped around, just the sticker on the Cover...
The seller was totally puzzled when I complained and he said "what do you want, the record cover IS the packaging"
No words...

On a sidenote: the Vinyl itself was not damaged
I fail to see how this was the postmans fault.

Off topic: And I thought I had horror stories on packaging... I ain't seen nothing yet apparently.
What good is a life that leaves nothing behind, not a thought nor a dream to echo in time...
So what have I done in the eyes of the world, what have I done that will remain?

perishinflames
Posts: 1539

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#10 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 3:28 am

Nothing too terrible here either. One broken 45 and an LP with a large chip in it, both cheap though. I have had a couple people send me LPs in bubble mailers (international even), sleeve creases but no damage to the records. The postman had jammed records into my mailbox (almost exactly 12" wide so only the boxes were scrunched) before I caught up with him and told him not to do that. Maybe I've been lucky, just corner dings and such which I can live with.

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Prowler
Posts: 1589

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#11 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 7:10 am

I remember a story when I got my Goliath LP. It cost me 125 DM, when the package came I found it plugged in my mailbox on one edge and it was raining! Fortunately I left house just a few minutes later and only the cardboard got watered.

When a Sabbat (UK) LP came I already saw that something must be wrong here. Opened the worn parcel and the vinyl was bend like 60°! It is unbelievable but I got it straight (playable) with my hair dryer! My heart stopped beating when I saw this! It's a miracle that it wasn't broken!

Speaking about packaging issues ... certain records arrived with just paper wrapped around. No need to say how the edges of the sleeve did look afterwards ...
It's not easy to be the Antichrist ...

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Khnud
Posts: 2390

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#12 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 11:22 am

I've had a bunch of records arrive wrapped in a plastic bag from one of the more well known grocery chains in Sweden. Incredibly enough, all the records were still in great condition!

But other than that, I've received broken records, bent records, heat warped records, and missing records. One package should have contained six copies of a then very expensive single (which had previously sold for over 600 dollars), but the package had been opened and only five copies remained. The customs had resealed the package with a rubber band.
Laugh at you in ecstasy, wallow in the gore.
Blast you with their twisted minds, behold the Dogs Of War.

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Noisenik
Posts: 2383

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#13 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 11:41 am

Prowler wrote: When a Sabbat (UK) LP came I already saw that something must be wrong here. Opened the worn parcel and the vinyl was bend like 60°! It is unbelievable but I got it straight (playable) with my hair dryer! My heart stopped beating when I saw this! It's a miracle that it wasn't broken!
How exactly hair dryer is applied in such circumstances?
I am ... the One you warned me of

Zombie Dance
Posts: 191

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#14 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:09 pm

Ever had one like this : Postman drops the big parcel right in front of the door, ring the bell and then leave! Like he was doing a prank or droping a child! fortunately i was at home this time...

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The Sentinel
Posts: 3514

Re: NO MORE MISTER POSTMAN!!! (horror stories thread)

Post#15 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:02 pm

Zombie Dance wrote:Ever had one like this : Postman drops the big parcel right in front of the door, ring the bell and then leave! Like he was doing a prank or droping a child! fortunately i was at home this time...
Yes, same here. Couple of times I found my package at the front door. At my former address, the package was exposed to rain and soaked; fortunately only cheap records but still :cry:

Always hate when people use f*cking pizza boxes.

One time, I had to pay a large amount of custom fees because ONE record was packed in a box with dimensions 1m*0.5m*0.5m :evil:

Stupidity has no boundaries!!
Long Live The Loud !!!

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