Funny messages

The Sentinel · Post by **The Sentinel** » Wed May 02, 2007 9:47 pm

I was looking at the backside of the Devil Childe sleeve and found this one in the thanks-list:

And if you think we suck, we do; our girlfriends have Big Tits

There must be more of this. Post some other examples of funny statements printed on the sleeve.

mordred · Post by **mordred** » Thu May 03, 2007 8:18 am

This record contains awsome heavy metal. If you are not satisfied, please return your copy to Deep Switch, stating where and when purchased, and we guarantee that you will be tracked down and killed.

peterott · Post by **peterott** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:12 pm

Recorded, mixed and screwed up at Studio Köket 2-3-4/12/93
Re-Recorded and re-mixed also at Studio Köket 24-25-26/1/94

Not a big LOL, but I had to smile when I saw this
Deranged - Architects Of Perversions MCD

Post by **DaN** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 5:58 pm

Just saw this on the back of EXUMER's "Possessed By Fire" LP:

No special thanks but pure hate goes out to Ralf Ludwig for cheating us and all the people who ordered our demotape. (emphasis mine)

WTF!?

"Yeah, tell 'em guys! Tapetraders are scum!"

humus · Post by **humus** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 6:41 pm

I really don't know why but it always puts a smile on my face: the whole Heibel - yeah everything is great LP. One label says throsh! and is side 1, the other says mash! and is side a, and they have songs like zwembroekthrash (='bathing trunks thrash) and a picture of their singer on stage with a swimming pants and a plastic duck.

The classic Metallica/Exodus thankslist thing: 'thanks for letting us trash the hotel room' 'thanks for helping us trash the hotel room' or something like that.

Ernest Thesiger · Post by **Ernest Thesiger** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:25 pm

I always liked the waggishness of Carcass' Reek of Putrefaction sleeve notes.

Initial recording engineered and ruined by Mike it up wrongly Ivory.
Re-recorded, mixed and salvaged by Paul "I used it as a coffee table" Talbot.
Produced by Carcass and Paul "That's a Van Halen riff" Talbot.
Executive producer: Dig "It's oozing out of the speakers" Pearson.
Sessions constantly interrupted by the YTS [Youth Training Scheme] headphone/microphone/video/lead moverarounders.

khiijol · Post by **khiijol** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 10:10 pm

"get chuffed" towards the end of napalm death thank you lists (which were normally volumes and volumes long anyways...)

the thank you notes in deliverance's "devil's meat" where they thank apple computers and ask for a macintosh ii

slayer thanking the higher abv molson and "whatever other drugs we happened to do on tour" on hell awaits

FenderMedium · Post by **FenderMedium** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 4:18 am

I thought these ones were pretty funny from Sorrow - Forgotten Sunrise MCD.

They are thanking some bands and these are the more funny ones.

Deceased(King,now you can shit)
Sepultura(Stop Calling me slash and take a shower you brazilian freaks)
Mike's Mom's Friend(for the dump picture)

I guess my father and Roni for letting me live at home for free(even though I have to put up with all the shit)

and of course our friends and family(yeah,that'll get uss off the hook)
PS.Trucks suck and Elvis was a dick.

metalmaster · Post by **metalmaster** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:45 pm

One must be sence in the "Shout at the devil" back cover where they warn you about the occult messages

mordred · Post by **mordred** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 6:49 pm

DaN wrote:Just saw this on the back of EXUMER's "Possessed By Fire" LP:

No special thanks but pure hate goes out to Ralf Ludwig for cheating us and all the people who ordered our demotape. (emphasis mine)

WTF!?
"Yeah, tell 'em guys! Tapetraders are scum!"

The story goes that this Ralf had promised to help Exumer sell the Mortal in Black Demo. A lot of people sent him money to buy the demo, but he never sent out any demos, instead he spent the money himself and told the band that nobody wanted to buy the demo. So hatred justified methinks.

Korgüll · Post by **Korgüll** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:59 pm

Just noticed this one on 'RANKELSON-Hungry For Blood':

This album is a labour of lust dedicated to the women of the world and to the memory of all the bands, we are about to kill...see you soon!

...and then on 'Bastards Of Rock N Roll':

This album was another labour of lust dedicated to the women of the world who have been & are yet to be Foxed, Hooked, Ritzed, Zacked or Scratched...see ya soon!!!

GREAT STUFF

wicked keeper · Post by **wicked keeper** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:27 pm

STRIKE MASTER - Up For The Massacre Hate List :

:

ULTRA HATEFUL SPEED FUCK OFFS TO THE FOLLOWING BASTARDS!:

All nu-metal bands and people, all metal core pendejos, all pussy gothics, all posers of any kind (you are not true enough), pseudo thrash bands conformed by our non attitude morons (your envy feeds our hatred every second), our staff (for not lifting us some pussy that night in Celaya), copycats (you;ll never thrash the way we do), and all those trendy hijos de puta who think they are punks and they're nothing but emo shit, human rights, UN, Bush, Mexican politicians, all people related in to governments that don't know doin shit, European dirty fucks who think they're hippies and live in our Latin countries, Cradle of shit, Dimmu Bubbles, CORN (nu metal) and all their legion of pussy fucks, all who betrayed Heavy Metal and twisted out name into a light joke, parties without alcohol, To all the pretty ladies that hang out with ugly fucking posers and not with us, x-girlfriends that have dumped us (check out what you're missing perras!), MTV, VH1, Internet (the past 3 for killing metal during the 90's), Gothenburg's melodic pussy death metal bands (you were never ment to exist), underage alcohol restrictive laws (you've never fucked our party! come and arrest us!), non alcoholic beer, all who haven't gave us alcohol hanging around, Raver shitheads, junkies with a dead rat on your heads MONSTER666 gear and people who wear it, expensive air lines, religious fucks, pseudo black metal bands that sound like folk, and pseudo speed/power bands that sound like boy bands YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT METAL IS! los "coca cola light" (you know who you are) Dioses del Metal (creidos de mierda)ninos vives... AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON..
We train harder every day imporving violent tactics to beat the shit out of you, anywhere any time we can fuck you up so hard beyond recognition, peace is not our way and someday we will fuck you all up!!!!
Pure fucking violence!!!!!
Always honest STRIKEMASTER.

What was actually funnier was all the precious little "intellectuals" on a certain other forum that got all upset and offended by this and jumped on their moral high horses about how it "re-inforces negative stereotypes about Metalheads" or some such faggotry - I think it's hilarious and probably half tongue -in-cheek.

Ernest Thesiger · Post by **Ernest Thesiger** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:15 pm

wicked keeper wrote:
To all the pretty ladies that hang out with ugly fucking posers and not with us

If I had a JPEG of a tiny violin I'd post it.

sovdat · Post by **sovdat** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:20 pm

Geez, so it looks like that we'll have two of the silliest new thrash bands on the KIT X ...

Post by **DaN** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:26 am

Infamous Belgians (is there another kind?) KUSTER had this message on all their releases, with some spelling variations:

SHIT TO DISCO! SHIT TO NEW WAVE! LONG LIVE THE HARD ROCK!

A t-shirt waiting to happen?