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No that's not the title, it's actually "Eat ya down", but man those lyrics just beg to be quoted... Who wants to help decrypt them in whole?

Back story:
Aeons ago a friend of mine visited the place of reknowned olde Swedish fanzinist/tape trader Lennart "The Phantom" Larsson and asked him: "What's the worst tape you have in your collection?" Without hesitation this recording was picked out from the man's legendary archive and my friend of course made a copy - which I in turn got to dub years later.

Unfortunately my own dub was lost for years, but after going through some boxes at my dad's place a few weeks ago I finally found it! The pure joy of reuniting with "The Mighty" LOCH NESS nearly brings tears to my eyes. Of laughter, coz it's my All - Time - Favourite WORST Of The Worst-Metal recording. The lyrics are amazing, the songs super-stupid but it's not as abrasive and close-to-unlistenable as for instance Kuster or Wheelz Of Steel. It is a genuinly FUN recording and I hope you'll enjoy it too:
Oh, and they were on the thanks-list of the FUTURE TENSE mini, so also kült.

At last! Thank you!

Despite your intro blurb i found i was still quite unprepared for the bizarre Loch Ness onslaught.
This was surely thrown together in someone's bedroom by a few friends one drunken evening just for fun? A late (or early) April Fool's joke?
Got to applaud them for being years ahead of their time in ecological terms too in repurposing parts from other songs here & there, like the guitar solo from AC/DC's version of 'Baby Please Don't Go' on 'Satan Will Help,' & Philthy's double bass drum rhythm from Motorhead's 'Overkill' on 'Warmachine' which also has a chorus somewhat reminiscent of Rogue Male's 'Crazy Motorcycle'.
Anything that raises a chuckle in these weird times gets a thumbs up from me & there were several to be had here, so many thanks to you for sharing this.

Glad to have brighten up your day, Kit ("The Corroseum will help")

Here's the lyrics to the first track btw:


SATAN WILL HELP

Black was the night when we started to fight
Raping and killing began
We were a few, but we all knew
Satan was on our side

Satan will help
Satan will help

Fighting is done, Satan has won
The six-six-six is the best!
We're going to kill, that's Satan's will
Satan's will is the law

Satan will heeeeeeeelp!

When you are dead he won't forget
What you have done in your life
When Hitler was dead, Satan was sad
Satan rules free

Satan will help
Satan will help

Okay, i felt i had to help advance this most worthy project. A couple of lines are my best guess, feel free to improve on them if they seem iffy:

Live In Hell

Body Is Cold
Bones Will Be Balled
Your Life Is Done
But Your Mind Lives On
You Live With The Dead (?)
While You're Eaten By Rats

(chorus)
Live In Hell, Live In Hell
You'll Feel Well When You Live In Hell
Live In Hell, Live In Hell
You'll Feel Well When You Live In Hell
Liiiiive In Hell
Live In He-ell

Satan Has Told
Heaven Is Cold
Hellfire Is Hot
Your Brains Will Rot
You Enter In Hell
You're In Satan's Spell

(chorus)

Your Bones Will Decay
When Your Grave Is Made
Before You Die
Satan Tells No Lie
He Says If One Dies (?)
You'll Know Hell Is Nice

(chorus)

Great work

DaN wrote: ↑Wed Dec 08, 2021 5:09 pmGreat work

Feel free to edit it to fit your pre-established format. I didn't know how to do it.

bigfootkit wrote: ↑Thu Dec 09, 2021 5:50 am

DaN wrote: ↑Wed Dec 08, 2021 5:09 pmGreat work

Feel free to edit it to fit your pre-established format. I didn't know how to do it.

Did the opposite.

...and I found a band-connection! --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BamCH1XpDsw

Did TEMPTER get any better? There seem to have been a CD released in later years..

DaN wrote: ↑Thu Dec 09, 2021 6:12 am I found a band-connection! --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BamCH1XpDsw

A Loch Ness cover version!
I did not see that coming.

bigfootkit wrote: ↑Fri Dec 10, 2021 4:48 am

DaN wrote: ↑Thu Dec 09, 2021 6:12 am I found a band-connection! --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BamCH1XpDsw

A Loch Ness cover version!
I did not see that coming.

My guess is it's the same band. Seems like the "Wheelchair Massacre" was released 1 year after "Eat ya down":
https://thecorroseum.org/fanzines/index ... =on#search

Oh my God, is there any way to go back in time so I can be a fly on the wall when they recorded this?

DaN wrote: ↑Fri Dec 10, 2021 6:07 am My guess is it's the same band. Seems like the "Wheelchair Massacre" was released 1 year after "Eat ya down":
https://thecorroseum.org/fanzines/index ... =on#search

That seems like a reasonable assumption to me, and if that's the case then this pic of Tempter from Heavy Metal Demons zine in 1984 can rightfully be claimed a rare sighting of the Loch Ness 'monsters'.
They do look like the type of degenerates who could have written those mighty opuses.

1st band of Ed Warby.

rumblefist wrote: ↑Tue Dec 21, 2021 12:59 pm 1st band of Ed Warby.

my doG that is a T-shirt-to-be if I ever saw one
Would you also have a rip of the demo w/ better sound than my copy?

Got it 5 years ago

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/hmk1sexbp50fe/loch_n

if you get some shit by media fire - just click on - Upgrade Later